There is no relationship or romantic affair that is a bed of roses. There are two sides to every coin! One positive, the other negative.
When a relationship suffers continuous setbacks, the negative side is said to be overwhelming. Everyone suffers in one way or the other, in matters of the heart, due to it’s complexities, but when the suffering is persistent, there is a serious problem, which is due to our faults.
There are certain things that we do, which have negative effects on our relationships with others, sometimes it is consciously, sometimes not, but we often always regret! The worst part is the pains that comes with it, which some of us live with to our graves!
Those things are avoidable with the right mindset.

I will briefly mention a few, by saying a thing or two on them


It is good to be proud and create a niche about oneself which should earn respect or boost personal ego and confidence, thus enabling an individual to attain great heights, but when the pride is such that makes a person too full of himself, it will ruin him, cause he will always think that no one can do better than him!
When we are too full of ourselves, our sense of reasoning gets impaired, making us to think we are the best that can happen to others! (nothing wrong with that), but if we want anyone to accept us as the best, we also must be willing to accept them likewise.
Pride kills the ability for humility, such that we sometimes find it very difficult to apologize and even demand for it when we wrong others! Quite unfortunate.
People have lost so much, just by refusing to say “sorry”, due to pride. When you look down on another, you will not be able to approach him for anything! Wow!


Poverty is the cause of half of the sorrows in developing and poor countries. People will always compromise their values for a piece of bread!
Most commercial sex workers are engaged in it due to poverty!
A lot of people will rather marry for security than compatibility. Some people get desperately involved with others due to financial status and end up with bitter relationships, when they discovered money is not all things!
We are always willing to tolerate all forms of shit from those that have money, which makes us suffer humiliation. Those with the money will never enjoy the relationship, because they know that it is their money that is keeping the union, to which they will always disrespect and sometimes scorn the other party. The relationship will always be a superficial mess.


Contentment is a special ability that is lacking in people that suffer in relationships of any kind. Greed is a bad thing, it compels us to desire things that do not belong to us! This easily creates room for infidelity. We have refused to accept and be content with who we are and strive after superficial things, leaving the real, within us!
A greedy person can never be contented with what he has, he will always want another person’s share.
When one is not ok with what he has and decided to go elsewhere or get another’s, there is bound to be suffering on so many levels.


It is unfortunate that so many people are yet to realize harmony is an act of selflessness.
We want people to love us, to give us their all, yet when they have nothing to give us, we deny and cease relating with them. This is why a selfish person will never want to be involved in a relationship with someone whose means of livelihood is not up to their own. When trying to get a partner, they only go after the type that could butter their bread, they do everything to get such a one and when they succeed, real sorrows will descend on them!
Selfish people have no time for you and anything of yours, but when it comes to them, they want all your time and undivided attention and still expect peace from you!


This is a very negative and highly destructive force, found in people that have little peace in their lives, people that do not forgive and must revenge any unpleasant thing done to them!
There are so many people that entered into a relationship they do not desire, but because the force of revenge which is stronger at the time is the motivation, they got entangled and end up in miserable living with partners they have nothing in common with!


This ought to be for married folks, but so many people are already married, without knowing they are!
Libido in this context, is sexual performance. Sometimes it is high or strong and sometimes weak or low. It is rare for people to feel unhappy in relationships with high or healthy sexual activity. I want to assume that a lot of people, especially those that are involved in the “till death do us part” marriage type, are living in extreme misery, because they or their partners are not living up to the desired sexual expectations.
Poor sexual performance can destroy happiness and lead some people to death, cause of gradual deterioration! It is a major cause of infidelity among couples, as the dissatisfied party will always seek for gratification elsewhere, if they are not patient and strong enough to live with it!
People ought to be eating pure natural food and exercise regularly, in order to be in the right frame (physical and mental), whenever there is a need for such performances.


  1. it is done with d matters of d heart- precious within,one on its spelled lane 2 negativeness…misery….a well focused and written piece…cheers @ sir

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